Faith and Tears

Faith and Tears

I’m a visual person.  I visualize certain places or things to help me engage with God.  Scripture gives us many images of God.  These days I find comfort in Him as my Great Shepherd, leading me through these uncertain times.  I also think of Him as my Solid Rock, like a super tall granite mountain, the kind where I have to tilt my head and even then, can barely see the top.  Nothing can move that mountain, it’s unshakeable.  That’s how I think of God.  When I’m feeling shaken by the coronavirus, I tilt my head and look up to trigger that memory of my Solid Rock, my Mighty Fortress.

Still, yesterday I had a good cry.  I know my Shepherd is leading, my Solid Rock is still secure, but I was also sad.  I see God is doing new things, really amazing things in the midst of COVID-19, but I’m also grieving the loss from plans that had to be changed during these weeks.  I’m missing face to face time and hugs with family, both biological and church family; the loss of freedom to go places, see things, plan gatherings and celebrations.  We’re humans with a myriad of emotions and we don’t have to deny them.  Crying is better than worrying.  Tears come from my heart while worry comes from my head.  In my heart I experience God’s tender care and healing and then I can gradually let go of my disappointments, questions and fears.  I like to have music playing at home more than ever now to keep me out of my head!  Our Creator surely understands us and wants to engage with us as we engage with the world and our feelings.

What two weeks ago seemed surreal, is feeling more real now.  We’re finding our new rhythm.  Let’s incorporate some silence, where we are most likely to encounter God.  Too often we drown out the sound of God with noise, doing and busyness; we don’t acknowledge the interior, the quiet life with God.  Many of us are walking more.  Last weekend we planted some bulbs in our yard.  We’re walking around noticing the growth on some of them daily!  That’s similar to how we can try to notice God’s work in us and around us too.  Someday we’ll look back on 2020 when we had to shelter in place, and we’ll recall how we spent the time.  I hope we’ll remember deepening our relationship with the Lord through sweet, formative time spent with Him.

 Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Hebrews 13:20-21